Skill 19-1
Keeping cool with a teenager
In this circumstance, you might say, "Maria, you are upset with me, very angry with me, because you want to go to this party. Your friends may be talking it up at school and you want to be a part of the group." Your restatement is not an accusation. It's not a question. It's an affirmation of the child's right to human emotion.
Showing understanding does not mean that you let your teenage go to the party. You have to make a judgment about what is best for your child. You have the responsibility as a parent to make reasonable decisions. You cannot let your child do something you know in your heart would place her at unnecessary risk.