⚡ When angry, slow down my response
One way to purposefully cool off the heat is to stretch out time as much as possible. You could count to ten (or twenty or one hundred if necessary). You can purposefully slow down the rate of speech (showing care not to infuriate the other person. You could move more deliberately and slowly. Speaking more softly instead of yelling helps to slow down the circumstances.
Let's say, for example, your three-year-old deliberately knocks over a bottle of milk on the kitchen floor. You respond with anger to her action. Because rushing around to clean up the milk spill can increase your arousal, you "downshift" and slow down as you clean up the mess. Since emotion can follow behavior, the more deliberate and unhurried pace may reduce the anger.
Notice I said, “may.” None of these skills are guaranteed to reduce your anger. Some of the tools will work better in some circumstances than others.
Next: Skill 16: Use words to accurately “own” my emotions