Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part II
How to recognize unhealthy relationships and get out
By Karin S. Ryan, Psy.D. & Heather B. Trangsrud, Ph.D.
What is abuse?
Abuse (according to the Webster dictionary) is:
- A corrupt practice or custom
- Improper or excessive use or treatment
- A deceitful act
- Language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily
- Physical maltreatment
Other terms:
- Domestic violence
- Intimate partner violence
Physical Abuse
Definition: Abuse that results in physical injury or an atmosphere of threat, fear, and violence.
Physical Abuse Examples:
- Hitting/punching
- Pushing/shoving
- Biting
- Kicking
- Choking
- Physically restraining
- Pulling hair
- Ripping clothing
- Locking you in or out of home, room, or location
- Throwing objects, punching the wall, or threatening with weapons
- Abandoning you
- Preventing you from activities or leaving the environment
- Forcing violent rituals
- Keeping you from getting medical attention...
Sexual Abuse
Definition: Any form of coerced sexual contact or exploitation.
Examples:
- Anti-gender jokes
- Sexualizing comments
- Acting like partner belongs to him/her for sex
- Accuses you of being sexual with others
- Controls your dress
- Negative comments about body
- Criticizing sexual past or sexual performance
- Touches you when not want to be touched
- More examples:
- Forces you to watch/mimic porn or makes you strip
- Calls you derogatory names
- Withholds or makes you beg for sexual affection
- Has affairs
- Forces you to have sex with him/herself or others
- Makes you perform sex acts you don't want to or when ill
- Rape...
Emotional Abuse
Definition: Abuse or mistreatment that includes verbal insults/threats, intimidation, blaming, name-calling, put downs, and etc.
Examples:
- Ignores your feelings or makes fun of them
- Withholds approval as punishment
- Criticizes you or calls you names
- Nothing is ever good enough
- Yelling and screaming
- Insults your friends or family
- Puts you down in front of others
- Censors mail/email/texts
- Refuses to share money/responsibilities
- Other examples:
- Destroys/gives away your belongings
- Isolates you from friends and family
- Threatens/mistreats children or pets
- Controls you through lies
- Blames you for their actions
- Denies/minimizes their abusive behavior
- Threatens to "out" you
- Threatens you with violence...
Other terms:
- Verbal abuse
- Psychological abuse.
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