January 2015 Management Minute

“Relationships”

by Chris Reinhardt, feedlot specialist

How do you ever get to know someone?

Ask yourself who you know really well. Now think of what it took to get to that emotional place with those people. For some people, the list of people that are well-known may be extensive; for others, there may be only a few—maybe only one.

But the process of really getting to know another person is the same for all of us: we only know the people with whom we spend extensive time, drilling down and getting to know them.

When I asked a guy how well he knew a third guy, he replied, “Well, I’ve never hunted with him.” You can tell a lot from spending a week or two cooking with, eating with, cleaning up after, and looking out for, another person. People who work together in an intimate work environment have some of, if not all of, this dynamic. Spend all day, every day with a small handful of people and you will, over time, learn who they are. “Anyone can clean up for a 2-hour interview.” But nobody can “pretend” forever, under often stressful conditions.

Considerate, compassionate, and self-sacrificing people are an absolute joy to work with and contribute more too every relationship than they take away. Conversely, selfish, rude, condescending people drain the workplace of joy and drain relationships of mutual respect and good-will.

The challenge managers have is that they rarely spend the same amount of time, day-in, day-out, with their team-mates. So how can the astute manager compensate for a lack of “quantity time”? They need to schedule intentional “quality time” instead. Set up times on a monthly or quarterly basis to discuss workplace concerns, personal and professional goals, and any other issues that may need to be addressed. This is not a time to spend on job performance; that will result in yet another one-way, top-down, conversation—not really a conversation at all. Instead, this needs to be a time for you to get to know your team mates.

You simply cannot really know someone if you have not spent any time getting to know them. We invest in that which we place value. Without spending time, you cannot even scratch the surface.