Move to a learning conversation
In our efforts to help we must remember that Friends do not passively respond to outside forces—they actively shape their social environment through their appraisals of both adversity and their own resources. If Friends have the opportunity to tell us their stories, to describe the impact of hardship on their lives, they will begin to understand their commitments and beliefs, to rethink their appraisals and rediscover their resources for overcoming adversity.
                                     
At Mobilize, we move to a learning conversation where we examine a challenge, explore alternatives, and craft solutions. Do not move to this phase prematurely. Friends must be at a point when they want to shift the focus away from the experience of the problem to their response to the problem. The ground tremors of loss must have eased enough to feel stable ground.

Finding firm ground to stand on means understanding how we shape truths that influence our thoughts and motivate our action. This learning conversation may be five minutes or extend across days, weeks, and months.