Be clear and precise
Being precise is being accurate and clear in our response to what Friends tell us. Our task at Mobilize is to illuminate fuzzy thinking. For example:
           
Woman: “Eric (her husband) is dead! I’ll never be happy again!”
Friend: “Your loss is horrible and your hurt feels endless. You can’t imagine being happy without him.”

In this instance, the woman’s friend acknowledges her pain without agreeing 100% to her assertion. She doesn’t say, “Yes, you’ll never be happy again.” Words like never and always are inaccurate and often irrational.

Parading evaluations as facts are another form of thinking that cripples helping. For example, a friend might tell a mother, “Jason is such a bad boy!” This comment is an evaluation, not a fact. A better response would be, “Jason made a bad choice when he smacked his sister.”

When we paraphrase a Friend’s comments, we should be careful to use words that are precise, not vague or irrational.