mnesia

condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again

Bottle feeding

an opportunity for Dad to get up at 2:00 am

Drooling

how teething babies wash their chins

Dumbwaiter

one who asks if the children would care to order dessert

Feedback

the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots

Full name

what you call your child when you're mad at him

Grandparents

the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're not sure you're raising them right

Hearsay

what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word

Independent

how we want out children to be as long as they do everything we say

Look out!

what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it

OW!

the first word spoken by children with older siblings

Prenatal

when your life was still somewhat your own

Prepared childbirth

a contradiction in terms (aka: oxymoron)

Puddle

a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it

Show off

a child who is more talented than yours

Sterilize

what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it

Temper tantrums

what you should keep to a minimum so as not to upset the kids

Thunderstorm

a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed

Top bunk

where you should never put a child wearing superman pajamas

Two-minute warning

when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting sounds

Verbal

able to whine in words

Weaker sex

The kind you have after the kids have worn you out (Grin)

Whodunit

none of the kids that live in your house

Whoops

an exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge

Found on the Parenting-L listserve.

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http://www.ksu.edu/wwparent/humor/diction.htm-- Revised: February 19, 2004
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