Skill 27
Reconcile after anger
After the anger and the circumstances that aroused it has passed, consider returning to visit with those who were important in how the situation unfolded. Of course, this may not be the best course of action if the other person is not able to talk calmly about what happened.

FireWorks emphasizes the idea of partnership in anger management. We have a lot to learn from the perspective of others. We benefit by keeping communication channels open to try to understand ourselves through the eyes of others.

If your anger was unfair and your actions harmful, use the opportunity to make a sincere apology. More than just saying, "I'm sorry," an effective apology includes a statement of discovery and a commitment to respond differently in the future. And then we have to follow though on the commitment. Repeated apologies for unfairly blowing our top at someone cause only resentment and bitterness.

As we have said before, you may not always be in control of how you feel, but you can always be the master of what you do.

Have you hurt someone with your anger in the past? If so, consider reconnecting with that person to talk with him or her about what you have learned.

Next: Skill 28: Reassure my children about my strong emotions