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Children and young adults prefer help that is given unselfishly By Jessica Clark
Helping someone may seem simple, but helping for the right reason is what defines an effective helper. According to a Kansas State University study, the motivation behind one person's helping of another is important in determining how the help is perceived. K-State psychology professor Mark Barnett and graduate students Guy Vitaglione, Jeff Bartel and Fred Sanborn conducted a study to see how other-oriented and self-oriented help is perceived when given by "everyday" helpers -- nonprofessionals who help in everyday situations. They studied two groups -- the first consisted of undergraduates only and the second of children ages 10 to 12 and undergraduates. Both groups
indicated a clear preference for other-oriented helpers and rated them
as more likable, more honest, less devious, more helpful and better at
helping others. A self-serving helper in a close relationship tended to
be rated particularly harshly by both groups because that individual violated
the sense of trust and sincerity regarded as vital to that relationship,
Barnett said. "In general, participants favored other-oriented helpers. People who helped for altruistic reasons rather than selfish reasons were perceived more positively. Someone who offered self-oriented expressive help, where the two people are in a close relationship and one is comforting another for personal gains, was seen as particularly devaluing to the relationship and as a violation of the relationship by both the children and undergraduates," Barnett said. Each group was given scenarios in which help was being given, but the helper-recipient relationship, the helper's motivation for helping and type of help being given differed across scenarios. The motivation for helping was other-oriented or self-oriented and the relationship was described as being close or not close. The type of help offered was instrumental, helping another with a task; or expressive, providing support or comfort to another. Participants were asked to rate the degree to which each helper or example of helping behavior was described by these variables: likable, honest, devious, helpful, effective at helping, like the reason, similar motive and accept help. People who helped for other-oriented reasons tended to be well liked by the participants. Participants also indicated that they would be more willing to accept help from someone with altruistic motives than someone with selfish motives. "I think people see other-oriented helping as expressing a true concern for the recipient, or as more genuine. It's easier to accept help from someone who is truly concerned for you than from someone who wants a selfish gain for extending his or her help," said Barnett. Attitudes toward helping behaviors were similar for both groups, suggesting that 10- to 12-year-old children are sensitive to motives for helping and have well-established values about helping that may change little by young adulthood. Barnett said parents can encourage their children to be genuine in helping by providing a model of other-oriented help and by reinforcing their children when they help someone because they cared about that person's feelings and didn't expect anything in return. "Parents can model not just the behavior, but the attitude and motive that goes along with helping. When you see your child help another person for an altruistic reason, tell him or her 'that was very nice of you to help in that way' to reinforce that behavior," Barnett said.
Photo: Grant, 4, helps put blocks away after completing his building at Stone House Child Care Center at K-State. Photo by Dan Donnert, KSU Photographic Services. Summer 2003 |
