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spacerHumor: Snippets: Set 2

I operate a home daycare and have eight children in my care, an equal number of boys and girls. Six of them are preschool/kindergarten age. Last November, as we prepared to partake of our "Thanksgiving Lunch", I asked the children to share what they had to be grateful for. When it came to Richie's turn, he thought hard and finally said, "I'm grateful fooorrrrrr...EVERYTHING!" Collin, sitting next to him, turned and asked incredulously, "EVEN the color PINK??!!!
Mona Hargrave, home daycare provider

I've always felt that even if you don't understand big or difficult concepts the first time you hear about them, that early information will still provide a basis for easier learning when you're exposed to it again later. I have kept that in mind from the beginning while raising my two children. When my daughter was 3, somehow the subject of reproduction came up and I gave her the "sperm + egg = baby" talk. As part of the explanation I told her that, like all girls, she had been born with all of the eggs she would ever have and that they were in her ovaries right then. A few days later, she came to me and told me she had a stomachache. I asked her if she thought maybe it was something she had eaten that gave her the stomachache. Her reply was, "No, Mommy, I think it's all those eggs in my stomach."
A Graduate Student

When I was pregnant with my daughter my son asked where babies come from. Well, I told him the basic truth about Mom `s and Dad s. Then he ask about heaven I should have known I was in trouble then! I told that was where we went when we died. I also told that was where babies where made by God. My son proceeded to ask me if he could look inside me and see what Heaven was like. Not knowing what to say. I finally told him the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Boy was my face red when we got to the drive thru window at Burger King.

My two year old daughter wanted a glass of chocolate milk. It was the end of a busy day, so i told her to ask her sister. Her sister told her to ask her daddy. She came back and said Daddy couldn't get it because He's impotent (that's what it sounded like, honest). Whe we stopped laughing, i asked daddy what he told her. He couldn't get it because he was on the INTERNET!
Alison Platt, Minister

After reading "Caringworks", I hope you don't mind if I share with you a little story about my sons. I have changed my children's names, so that my adoptive son's location would not be discoverable via the internet.

Two years ago my husband and I were asked to by social services to consider adopting our 7 year-old nephew who had been in foster care for two years. Uncertain how our two year-old twin sons, Ralph and Steve, would respond to this possibility, I decided to introduce the idea to them gradually. I began to prepare them by telling them that we would be going on a trip soon to visit their cousin, Bob, whom they had never met before. Then I simply said, "Bob doesn't have a family anymore." A little while later when I was tucking the boys into bed that night, Ralph, who apparently had been thinking about Bob not having a family, said to me, "Bob is sad. He is very, very sad. He has tears coming out of his eyes and boogers coming out of his nose."
Jennifer D., M.D.

When my daughter was 2 1/2 years old we were trying our best to help her understand the concept of "potty training". We did not seem to be making much success toward our goal. One day I asked her what she would like for Santa to bring her for Christmas. Without missing a beat she excitedly proclaimed "a potty train!"
Carole Agee. Registered Nurse/Parent Educator

My pre-school aged son asked me the other day. Mom, what do bears eat?

After thinking for a second I answered Well I guess they eat berries, and nuts and fish and ....

My son interrupted me and said, Porridge too?

When I stopped laughing I had to say Yeah, I guess they do.
Michael T Sepe

The Kittens

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.

How did you know that? his mother asked.

Daddy picked them up and looked underneath, he replied. I think it's printed on the bottom.
Jessica R Koehler

True story that happened to me and my son

I took my 4 year old son, Josh, out to McDonalds for dinner one evening for a guy night. As we were eating our hamburgers, Josh asked, Daddy, what are these little things on the hamburger buns? I responded that they were tiny seeds and were ok to eat.

He was quiet for a couple of minutes and I could tell he was in deep thought. Finally, Josh looked up and said, Dad, if we go home and plant these seeds in our back yard, we will have enough hamburgers to last forever.
Robert Kaumans

My children were pretending to be preparing for a long trip in a covered wagon. They loaded in bags of salt, beans, seeds, nails, and other necessities for survival. After the last blanket and tool were in place they settled into their seats on the front of the wagon and said their good-byes. As they pretended to get the horses moving, my 8-year-old daughter called back over her shoulder, We'll send an e-mail when we get there!
Lin Vickery

When my daughter was very small, around kindergarten time, she was pretty precocious in language skills. I wasn't at all surprised when she asked me, Daddy, what's density? She didn't pronounce it quite correctly, but I loved hearing her small, reedy voice attempting these grown-up words.

It was a real challenge trying to figure out how to explain this difficult concept to such a young child. I tried explaining the everything was made up of little building blocks that we couldn't see, and the amount of these in a certain space was the density of the thing they made up.

She listened very intently through the explanation, which was much longer than this. Finally I asked, Does that help you understand density? She replied, I don't think so. It occurred to me I might do a better job if I knew in what context she had heard the word. I asked why she wanted to know about density. Well, she said slowly, I just wondered what it means when we sing I am the Lord of the dance said he.
Gary W. Olthoff

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