Thanks to Terry
C. for allowing me to reprint this from his
Church of Christ website.
- The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping
before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl
in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets
loose, will he hurt us?"
- Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally,
his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why?
Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the
church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
- The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page
picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and
asked, "What flag is this?" A little girl called out, "That's the flag
of our country." "Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name
of our country?" 'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.
- After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks
and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the
children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"
- Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to
a restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their minds about what
they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and
said, "Just bring them bread and water." One of the little boys looked
up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"
- A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers
and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."
- A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We
used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung
from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries
in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last
she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
- My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No,
how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
- A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I
don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
- I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for
me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma,
I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
- A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming
quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother
by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or
the King James Virgin?"
- A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou
shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."