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spacerHumor: Themes: English 101

This offering is another one of those kids say the darndest things entries (from Josh's Laugh Page: Some grade school teachers kept journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples. 8^)**

  • The future of I give is I take.
  • The parts of speech are lungs and air.
  • The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
  • A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
  • Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
  • (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
  • A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
  • The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
  • A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
  • Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
  • The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
  • The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
  • We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
  • One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
  • A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
  • One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
  • To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
  • The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
  • The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
  • Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
  • The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
  • Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
  • The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
  • In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
  • Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
  • In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
  • A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.
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