Basic, ages 2-18
When children are too emotional to think clearly, describe the feelings and ideas underlying their actions. Use a tone of voice that matches the intensity of their experience. Be sympathetic to children's feelings and ideas, instead of telling them what they think and feel is wrong. With children who are visibly upset, use an assertive body posture, an energetic voice, emphatic movements, and lots of eye contact (this is known as riding the tiger). Affirmation does not imply agreement. Be prepared to follow up with redirection.
✔ Mother of Jenny (14 years old): I know you are SO UPSET with me for not letting you go to the party! YOU WANT TO GO because so many of your friends will be there. You think I am being UNFAIR AND MEAN!
Next: Tool 28