Step 4: Love
At this point, you take action out of love.

To “love” in this case means to put an idea lovingly into action. In the Journal example, after a quick review of your options and before separating the children, you make a decision and put it into action. You show Jamie the bite mark he made on Cindy, and impress on him how much he hurt her. As you comfort Cindy, you emphasize to Jamie in the strongest of terms, “NO BITING. USE WORDS TO SAY HOW YOU FEEL.”

As you separate the two children and begin talking, Jamie begins to cry softly and rub his eyes. You understand that he is sleepy, so you call Cindy's mother, tell her what happened, and ask her to take her daughter home. Jamie then runs to his room, crying even louder. You read Cindy a book until her mother arrives. When Cindy leaves, Jamie runs into the living room and throws himself on the floor, screaming, “Bad daddy! You bad daddy!” You lay Jamie's blanket over him and quietly return to the kitchen. After a few minutes, Jamie quiets down. You then pick him up in your lap and read him a picture book. After the story is through, you take your sleepy boy to bed. Within a few minutes Jamie is sound asleep.

Next: Challenges