Step 3: Understand
At this step following observation we can begin to form hunches about the source of the problem and its possible solutions. Why is my child misbehaving? What options do I have to prevent the misbehavior? Was my child baited to misbehave? Do I need to intervene to teach my child through guidance? Should I assert my authority with consequences? Or should I ignore what happened?

At this step you evaluate the problem based on your observations. Is there a real problem?

JOURNAL 17: Evaluating problems
Think of one child in your family. Make a list of all the things this child does that upset you. Go back over the list and rank each problem from most to least offensive. Start at the bottom of the list and for each item ask yourself, Is this something I really need to be upset about? Is this problem worth my investment of emotion and energy? If you answer no to any of these questions, cross the problem off and go to the next higher on your list. Show your list to a friend and explore ways of reducing your emotional involvement in minor problems.

Next: Mistake 1