In evaluating our limits, we should ask ourselves if our children could do what is expected of them. Is our child old enough to do what the limit dictates? Insisting that toddlers keep their rooms clean or remain seated in a church pew for an hour are unreasonable demands for children at that age.

Make your limits fair

Some expectations are unreasonable because they are not humanly possible to meet at any age. For example, forbidding someone to wet the bed during the night is unreasonable because it is impossible to have conscious bladder control during sleep. Telling a child not to feel sad, or frightened, or angry is also unreasonable. Although children's actions may have to be controlled, their feelings are a natural result of the way they react to what happens to them. A full range of emotions makes us human.

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