Tool choices
When you were growing up, did you ever meet any of the parents of your friends who were one-tool disciplinarians? This type of parent has one response to misbehavior that he or she uses in every possible situation. When I was growing up, one of my friends had a mother who was a screamer. No matter what he did to upset her, she would scream at him in a high pitched voice. Another had a father who used sarcasm exclusively. Another parent I knew tried to reason everything out.
Now there is nothing wrong with reasoning. A good scream or two here and there might even purge the soul of some frustration. And a healthy dose of wry humor might defuse a difficult situation. Regardless of how effective a response might be in some situations, though, it will not be effective under different circumstances.
❖ JOURNAL 9: One-tool parenting
What kinds of situations and what kinds of children might make screaming, reasoning, or humor counterproductive? The next time a friend or relative suggest the perfect response for you to make to a child's misbehavior, keep their suggestions in perspective.
Describe a few people you have known that tried to crowbar one type of response to nearly every problem they had with their children.
Next: Style