Core idea 15
Having a baby is not a solution
Some people think that having a baby will improve a rocky relationship. The woman may think her partner will settle down and stop drinking or get a job. Not true. Having a baby is likely to make good relationships better, bad relationships worse. The stress of having a baby reveals what is already present. What is true for us emotionally is true for our relationship with a partner. Where love exists it becomes stronger. Where love does not exist, having a baby increases the distance between the mother and father. If a relationship needs to be repaired, do that before having children.
Having a baby is not a solution to feeling lonely or unfulfilled. These are personal issues that we have to face and manage on our own preferably before having children. These issues require us to focus on ourselves. Being a good father or mother means setting us aside. Babies need to be loved for who they are, not for what they can do for us.