Do others “make” us angry?
Before we end this lesson on the meaning of anger, I would like to address the common belief that others "make" us angry. How often do parents say to their children something like:
You make me so angry!
We do not like taking responsibility for our emotions. Taking responsibility places a heavy burden on us. Blaming someone else for the actions we take as a result of how we feel gets us off the hook.
I have emphasized here that emotions flow from interpretation. The thinking parts of our minds affect the feeling parts of our brains. Now I'm going to give you an exception to this. New brain research shows that linkage between an emotion and a circumstance can be established early in life. Once the brain is used to being aroused in a particular circumstance, similar circumstances in the future can cause arousal without the thinking part of the brain being involved.
Let’s consider an example illustrating the next principle.
Next: Principle 14: We are in control of our behavior