A Course on Helping Logo

Go to Emotions
You are at the Threshold Phase
Go to Stabilization
Go to Mobilization
Go to Transformation
Go to The WonderWise Parent

39% completed


We often disguise our appeals for help
Friends may also communicate to us, sometimes in subtle ways, that they need support from us. An unexpected telephone call, a personal visit that seems to linger after a discussion of superficial matters, a glance with tears in the eyes are appeal signals. When we are hurting inside, we typically send out veiled messages instead of directly asking for support. This allows us to save face if another is not interested.

When we suffer, we may also not express what is on our minds and in our hearts because we do not want to "burden" a friend or stranger with our problems. We may tell ourselves that they are not interested or would not understand. We may be unwilling to take the risk of becoming vulnerable. We might be afraid that an indifferent or critical response will increase our distress.

Consequently, our pain “leaks out” just a little, to see how another person responds.

Effective helping may start with observing evidence of a Friend’s need for support.

workbook icon
Observing for Signs of Stress
Go to the previous cardGo to the next card

Go to the home page for dearneighbors.com

A Course on Helping: Introduction/Emotion/Threshold/Stabilize/Mobilize/Transform/back/next
WonderWise Parent: Programs/Courses/Elements/Stories/Opinions/Humor/Games
Contact us/Help
http://www.ksu.edu/wwparent/courses/coh/coh1-2.html-- Revised: May 1, 2006

Copyright © 1996-2006 Charles A. Smith. All rights reserved.