college adjustment
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Parent's complete guide to nagging
After college starts
The first few weeks after school starts are the most difficult time to maintain the balance between letting students spread their wings and keeping them on track. We know your years of parental ESP can foresee disaster, but there are some things college students will only learn by doing twice.
What to nag about
Reading
It takes most freshmen a few months to understand that college really is tougher than high school. But when that first test rolls around, most students experience a harsh awakening when they realize they’ve got 250 pages of textbook to read in one night. You can give your student a few days to get adjusted, but if your student hasn’t started reading by the second week of classes, it’s time to unleash your inner nag and get him back on track.
Studying
If you encourage your student to keep up with reading assignments, you won’t have to say much at all about studying. Staying on top of class reading is the easiest way to be prepared for tests. It’s much easier to spend the night before a test reviewing concepts than reading 10 chapters of detail-heavy textbook.
Is one class giving your student trouble?
Tell him to get a free tutor
Grades
Every freshman since the days of the Neanderthals has made the same mistake: failing the first college test. Unfortunately, seeing the big “F” on a test is sometimes the only way to learn this lesson. You can offer a few “reminders” early in the semester, but save the full-blown lecture for after the first major flop.
Are your student’s grades not what you’d like them to be?
Find out about the Academic Assistance Center
Finding a job
You’ve talked to your kid about the birds and the bees, but have you talked to him about budgets? Before your student leaves, make sure to have a lengthy discussion about where money comes from and how to hold on to it. This should give your student an idea of whether or not he or she will need to work during college.
Spending money
Whether the money is yours or theirs, students are likely to spend more once they get to college and are out of direct parental contact. This is the time to crack the whip. The residence halls provide good food, plenty of entertainment acts visit K-State, and there is always something happening on campus. Part of the money included in your student’s fees goes toward providing quality food, entertainment, and activities on campus. Your student needs to find ways to take advantage of what K-State offers and save his or her money for things like housing and tuition.
Find out more about entertainment and activities on campus
Don’t nag about
Going to class
The chances of a freshman admitting to his parents he hasn’t gone to class all week are slim, so save everyone a headache by not asking. If your student didn’t intend to go to any more classes, he or she probably wouldn't have enrolled in college. Assume the best, and remember, you can still encourage good academic behavior without treating your student like a grade-schooler.
Coming home
Give your student a chance to miss you. If you start in immediately with a “When are you coming home?” guilt trip, your student will be less likely to want to come. We’re not saying you can’t ask, but give your student a while to get adjusted to college life and realize what she’s missing about home. (Besides, the longer she’s away, the longer you’ll have to redecorate her room.)
Once your student spends a few weeks away from the comforts of home, you’ll probably start seeing him more often. Washing your little darling’s undies probably isn’t what you’ll miss the most, but until laundromats stop charging, your kid will probably be home every few weeks with a pile of dirty clothes and a craving for home-cooked food.
Partying
All parents worry about their kids getting into trouble in college, but unless your student gets into trouble with the law or has severely suffering grades, you shouldn’t have to say much about partying. Count on the advice you’ve been giving your student for the last 18 years to carry through. Don’t expect him or her to avoid the party scene altogether, but realize that, no matter what they say, students do value their parents’ advice.
Get more information on alcohol and substance abuse