COLLEGE ADJUSTMENT
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Things to remember
College is a time for growing and changing. As a parent you will experience these changes along with your student. It’s important to remember to be patient and supportive when your student goes through the ups and downs of college.
Tips for success
Allow your student to find out where he or she fits in this new environment. Encourage your student to get involved on campus or in a club.
Remember: this is a time of transition, and students often change their minds. Don’t panic, this is normal. For example, the average student changes majors three times.
Expect some tough times. Learning to cope with new people, responsibilities, and ideas may cause confusion and discomfort. It’s not uncommon for students to get lost on the first day of classes or walk into the wrong classroom. After the first week of classes, students generally feel more comfortable with campus, and their anxiety dies down.
What to avoid
Too much advice
Let students do the talking, and they will figure out things for themselves.
Too much meddling
Parents sometimes have a hard time letting go of their students. Even though you want to be involved in their lives, give them some breathing room.
Too much help
The best way to learn is by trial and error. As a parent you may want to swoop in and solve every concern your student has, but in doing so you may be taking away a valuable lesson that your student should learn. Help students become independent by letting them solve their own problems.
What if it all goes wrong?
Your student comes home for winter break and is less than enthused about returning to school for the spring semester. Should you worry? Does this arouse your protective parental instincts?
Many students have a hard time adjusting to college their first semester, and their attitudes reflect it. Some students may not be satisfied with their first experience at K-State, but before they make any big decisions, try to examine some of the reasons why:
- Grades may not meet expectations.
- Time was mismanaged.
- A job demanded more time and effort, and provided less time and energy for study.
- The less-structured environment of college compared to high school may have been a difficult adjustment.
- Too much time may have been spent on social activities.
- Changing relationships with family and friends may have been stressful.
- An initial major choice may now seem wrong.
- Goals and motivation are unclear.
As a parent, it’s hard to sit back and let your student go through a difficult time, but there are ways to support your student.
Demonstrate an interest in your child’s performance. Try approaching your student with an “I’d like to know” attitude, but be careful not to become pushy or over-involved. Remember, students are responsible for themselves. As a parent your role is to take an interest in their lives and be supportive of their decisions.
Suggested readings
Check out some Parents and Family Association-recommended books to learn more about the college transition and how to support your student.
See the booklist
Advice from those who know
Explore a K-State Parents and Family Association checklist created by parents who have experienced the student transition to college.
Get advice